As people, we all suffer from the unfortunate habit of trying to please everyone and worrying too much about other people’s opinions. I am not sure where this trait comes from, but, I feel like since we were kids a lot of our actions and choices were made to impress and please other people vs. doing it for yourself. For example, why are you applying to Harvard Business School? No, really, why? What’s the real reason? Or, why haven’t you left your corporate job and started that restaurant you’re always telling your friends about? Or, why are you still dating that toxic, yet beautiful, person even though you know, in your heart, they are not good for you? These are just some examples of people making choices to get approval of others and not pursuing avenues that make them generally happy.
I’ve made these mistakes before, and most likely will make more in the future, but, this weekend I thought about who are these “people” whose opinions matter so much? Who are they really and how many are they? If I am sacrificing my happiness to please the world, how big is this group of people?
The answer? Lol…like 5 people…
Yes, you’ll be surprised how few people really think about you on a regular basis and actually care about what you’re up to. You may feel like your successes and failures are top of mind of thousands of friends and co-workers, but truthfully, most don’t give a shit. We spend countless hours dwelling on making choices that make us look good optically when the reality is no one is really watching. There are some people that do care, but when you actually sit down and think about who they might be, you can most likely count them on one hand.
Knowing this is important as we make our future decisions. If we know that we are not performing in front of thousands of people, we are more open to taking risks; it becomes okay to slip and fall, miss a step every now and then, and it gives you the confidence to get back up each time. Ultimately, when we do succeed, we know that we celebrate with the few people who truly care.
So, here’s an exercise for you: I want you to create your list of people that truly care about you. To keep it simple, use the Arm’s Length test. If you draw a circle on the floor around you with a radius of your arm’s length, fill in that circle with 5-6 people that you know are life-long supporters. For a lot of us, half of those people will be your closest family members, maybe a best-friend or two, sometimes even a dog. But that’s about it.
Now that you know your list, go do things that are best for you, that make you happy, that make you smile, that give you that extra kick in your step every morning. No one is really watching you, so be you, and those that are watching, they’re your fans no matter what.
Have a great week my friends! 😊
My Personal Mentor 🎙
This is my weekly podcast where I provide life & career advice and invite mentees of mine who have amazing journeys and life stories that we can all learn from. If you enjoy these emails, you’ll hopefully like that too. You can listen here on Apple Podcast or any other podcasting app, just search for ‘My Personal Mentor’.
Pei Li - Leaving Engineering Science and Building the Next Big Thing (listen here)
Pei Li is the founder of CodeMode, a small development agency specializing in building MVPs. Prior to building CodeMode, Pei worked as a software engineer at WealthSimple, a quickly growing startup disrupting the finance industry by making great financial services easy accessible to everyone. Pei started his journey at the University of Toronto's extremely challenging Engineering Science program and soon realized that it wasn't what he was excited about. What he craved most was to build. In today's episode we go through his journey of building the next big thing. Tune in!
❤️ This Week
Video: Building New York’s $200M Apartment - The B1M is one of my favorite YouTube channels related to architecture and construction. I love seeing cool infrastructure projects that are coming up. This video shows you how some of the super-skinny towers in NYC are being built and sold to the ultra-wealthy in the world.
Video: Boston Dynamics Robot Dog - Updated - MKBHD, as some of you may already know, is one of the biggest YouTube stars. He recently did a video on the Boston Dynamics robot dog, now in its final form. This is a very well-done video and shows you how far we have come in terms of AI and robotics in just a few years. Also, a little scary.
Quote of the Week
Double-check all closed doors.
Videos this Week 🎬
Best Time to Switch Jobs - 5 Signals to Help You Decide - There are many reasons why one should consider leaving their current role or company. Sometimes it's because of the current role itself, while other times it's because there are better and more happier opportunities elsewhere. In this video I talk about a few of those signal that should help you decide if it is time to leave.
How to Make Better Decisions - We all have a hundred decisions to make and opportunities to consider on a daily basis. But, which one is right for you? I tried something new this year where I made a list of things I LOVE to do and things I HATED doing. In this video I talk about how this list helps me focus on opportunities, people, and hobbies that I love doing and ignore everything else. Hope this helps you 🙌🏾.
Mentor Hour - Best Practices for Zoom Interviews - Hosted a Mentor Hour with my good friends at Consult for America (https://www.facebook.com/ConsultForAmerica). One of the best case competitions I have ever attended and judged. Spoke with 60 students on the best practices for zoom interviews. Hope everyone can learn from these tips and prepare for their own upcoming interviews.